Britney Spears Sex Tape for Free

If you thought Britney Spears was stupid when she married Kevin Federline, or when she had two of his kids, or when she made a sex tape with him, you're going to love how Britney plans to stop K-Fed from profiting from the sale of the sex tape.

In a perfect example of cutting off your nose to spite your face, Britney Spears plans to give away her sex tape for free, just so Kevin won't make any money from it. Gratis. No money down. 100%, totally, completely, and utterly FREE! E Canada Now reports:

Sources close to Spears report she is "seriously thinking about" giving away a digitally re-mastered copy of the four-hour long sex video.

During a visit to Burger Basket with her two sons, Sean Preston and Jayen James spears said she may just post a clip of the video on MySpace.

"Brit figures she’ll beat that sucker to the punch, just like she did by giving away pictures of Jayden James," said Spears family friend Nyla Price, 55, the owner of Nyla’s Burger Basket.

"Half of nuthin' is nuthin', and that's what her lying skunk of a husband will get if she gives that video away before he can find some sleazeball to buy it."

Yes, just so K-fed won't make a penny, Britney Spears is planning to do the most drastic thing possible, which pretty much makes this the best story ever. Forget having to pay $29.99 for this DVD like you did for the Paris Hilton sex tape. And don't worry about getting fake versions on BitTorrent. If Britney has her way, you'll be spanking it to her and her white trash ex-husband, and it won't cost you a dime. It will, however, cost you your dignity.

But since you probably won't see Britney Spears naked, or having sex for a while, and because it probably won't be nice when you do, here's British super hottie, Keeley Hazell as a topless Britney Spears from the geniuses over at Zoo Magazine.

This Britney Spears Sex Tape has Been Brought to You by Kevin Federline

You would think that marrying Kevin Federline would be the dumbest thing Britney Spears could possibly do, but you would be wrong. You might even think making a sex tape with Kevin Federline would be the dumbest thing Britney Spears could do, but you would be wrong again.

No, the dumbest Britney Spears did was to file for divorce from the guy who's in possesion of her sex tape. According to The Sun, Kevin Federline is so angry at Britney for dumping him, that he's shopping around the sex tape they made together while on their honeymoon. And word is, the going rate is $50 Million.

Dumped husband K-Fed has already been offered £26 million for the four-hour tape, shot on the couple's honeymoon.

Britney, 24, fears the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image unless she caves in to his demands for a £16 million payoff and custody of their children Sean Preston, one, and Jayden James, eight weeks.

Britney slapped divorce papers on Federline after she caught him in a bedroom with another woman.

Now I don't know what "wholesome image" they're talking about, but I can think of a lot of reasons not to want your sex tape to be sold around the world to anyone with a credit card and $29.95.

So here's a lesson I think most celebrities should study, and study well. It's not even that hard. If you don't want your sex tape released to the public, don't make a damn sex tape. Or at the very least, don't piss off the guy who was holding the camera. Really, how stupid do you have to be?